PM: So, Mr S, what are you getting your wife for Christmas?
SA: I have a few things in mind. What about you?
PM: As one tree trunk said to the other, I’m stumped.
SA: Is your good wife hard to shop for?
PM: She is now but not when we were dating. Back then I could lavish her with all sorts of thoughtful gifts. But now she just wants to know how much I spent on everything.
SA: That's married life for you.
PM: For sure. Any suggestions?
SA: Hmmm, how about a Hanwha Eagles sleep mask?
PM: I don’t know. Got anything else?
SA: A nice Pohang Steelers travel neck pillow perhaps?
PM: She’s happy with her Hello Kitty pillow, thank you very much.
SA: Uh, an HL Anyang mouse pad?
PM: (sigh) Starbucks gift card and a bunch of crap from Daiso it is!
Next segment
SA: Today’s episode is on baseball teams and their uniforms. Which ones are the best…
PM: Which ones sort of stink.
SA: And those we don’t care for.
PM: Hint: we’re indifferent towards most of them. So, overall Mr S, which of the KBO’s ten teams has in your mind the finest uniform and why?
SA: I like the Landers the most because of the big L that goes from right to left. It reminds me of a boomerang.
PM: For me it’s dead even between Kiwoom and NC. A little favourite team bias, I know, but I’m a sucker for maroon, with the obvious exception of Maroon 5. It’s such a nice colour and it really ought to be used more in sports. As for NC Dinos, they have a nice classic blue and those touches of gold give it a regal quality.
SA:The Korea national team blue jerseys are tight as well. I like the blue front with the white vertical band.Too bad they’re sold out right now.
PM: As for team caps, any standouts for you?
SA: I like caps that show you’re a KBO team and the best one is the Samsung Lions cap. I also like the Tigers cap because the T is very different from US teams Detroit Tigers and Texas Rangers.
PM: What about the duds?
SA: I don’t like the Dinos nor the Bears caps. I feel like they’re missing an opportunity to be stylish, especially since casual fans can’t tell the difference between the D’s. At least one of the teams should put a mascot on the hat.
PM: That’s the thing that bugs me about the caps: there’s so little differentiation. Is it a rule that they all have to have letters on them?
SA: Lots of MLB teams have opted for lettering on their caps too.
PM: Lots of them, yes, but not quite all of them. Blue Jays, Cardinals, Orioles: all hail the bird teams! Fittingly, Hanwha managed to fit the Eagle into their logo and on their cap. Well done!
SA: That’s the first time I’ve heard anyone praise the Hanwha Eagles. Well, if they can’t play decent baseball, the least they can do is look good.
PM: Indeed. But preparing this episode has made me realize something: NFL and NHL teams on the whole have better baseball caps than MLB clubs. Football teams like the Raiders, Sea Hawks, Cowboys and Dolphins have really good logos; hockey clubs like the Habs, Red Wings, Sabres and Flames do too. Baseball logos, on the other hand, tend to suck ass royally!
SA: So, you’re suggesting that the professional sport which makes some of the least appealing baseball caps is in fact baseball?
PM: I am.
SA: We got a hot take folks! One that I don’t fully agree with!
PM: Oh one more thing. The elephant in the room is Kia. Is it just me or does the T on their caps look like a necktie?
SA: Yeah but it’s better than the pink KT Whiz hat, huh?
PM: Let’s call it a toss up on that one.
Home & Away
PM: So, any preference on dark away colours or white home colours and why is it dark away?
SA: It pays to be colourful, baby.
PM: Plus, you can get away with spilling beer on your away kit, am I right? Down here in Kia Tigers country, a red jersey can do a splendid job of covering up Teokbokki or hot sauce spread on chicken.
SA: That’s a definite advantage.
PM: But one thing, I miss the days of road teams wearing grey uniforms.
SA: Really?
PM: Oh sure. It was a not so subtle way of saying here are tonight's two teams: the colourful, exciting home team and the boring and drab visitors. Yet I always liked the grey unis. I had a grey Expos jersey when I was a teenager which had the word MONTREAL splashed along it.. I liked it far more than their home kit.
SA: I hardly paid attention to jerseys since they were expensive or sold out or the player turned to mush after signing the big contract. But anyway, those garish ones like the alternatives can be a nightmare on the eyes.
PM: Do you sometimes wonder if the TV networks complain to the leagues when their terrible uniforms cause epileptic seizures in the viewing public?
Alternates
SA: As is the case with all professional sports teams, KBO clubs have alternate uniforms that they dust off from time to time.
PM: Now, I’m not normally one to generalize.
SA: Are you sure about that?
PM: Fine, I don’t often generalize but in this instance I will make an exception: alternate uniforms are the worst. All of ‘em.
SA: They aren’t great but what do you expect? The bar isn’t especially high in the world of third jerseys.
PM: Good point. It sort of begs the question why they bother.
SA: I think the answer you’re begging for is money.
PM: But is that really the case? How often do you see fans at games wearing alternate jerseys?
SA: But what other reason would teams have for trotting them out?
PM: Novelty. Just so people will take notice and go “Oh look! Lotte’s wearing their uniforms with BUSAN on it!” Or it’s a public holiday and teams sport uniforms to go with it like on 현충일, the Korean Memorial Day, in which teams wear military-esque colours and/or designs.
SA: Like pink camouflage?
PM: It’s pretty sharp, isn’t it? On more traditional Korean holidays, teams will wear gear with Chinese lettering and/or oriental patterns and such. Again, I don’t think the public is buying this stuff but it’s probably good for the image of the teams and league.
SA: It does seem like a marketing grab, but I mean our home country teams do it too. Some can be cool, and some can be ass like the Giants City Connect jerseys that got scrapped. The worst ones I could find were the bright yellow ass 2023 KBO all-star games. GAWD they are hard to look at on the sale site. But on TV they aren’t so bad. They got that chamwei melon color.
PM: And at least teams here aren’t doing silly shit like NHL jerseys with BOLTS, CANES and SENS on them. When your team’s nickname gets its own nickname and then sells it back to the gullible fans. Good stuff.
SA: Yeah but the Devils sweaters with JERSEY on the front is good. A jersey that just says JERSEY.
PM: True, that’s some next level, Naomi Klein No Logo shit going on there. There’s also those NBA shirts with city nicknames and slogans on them. Do you think that might fly here?
SA: You mean like a BUSAN IS GOOD jersey? I think that’s overselling the Lotte Giants, don’t you?
PM: Good point.
Besides baseball
PM: We’ve talked a lot about baseball because we like the uniforms. But they’re not the only ones selling swag.
SA: That’s right Mr. P! The big 5 leagues all have swag shops and we’ll talk about shopping for them in the next segment. Now we’ll talk about a few faves we like. I’m gonna start with the K-League. My favorites of the football jerseys are the home goalkeeper uniform of Ulsan, the away goalkeeper uniform of FC Seoul, the home goalkeeper uniform of Gwangju FC, the Jeju United home oranges, the road uniform of FC Anyang, and the training uniform of Jeonnam. I have more but I’m gonna leave those in the show notes.
PM: You sound like you have a number 1 favorite.
SA: Yes and it’s also the one I hate the most. The Jeonbuk 30th year special has a bit of a push out to make it look like you’ve got pecs which is cool and all. But for 170 bucks, it’s the priciest and considering Jeonbuk might get relegated this year, you might get stuck with the t-shirt equivalent of a lemon. Anyway, take a look at the basketball jerseys and see what you like.
PM: So, I mainly looked at what’s on the KBL’s online store. The setup is nice and easy. They have a link for general KBL merch as well as one for each team.
SA: What did you find?
PM: Things are all over the place! I was expecting to find much the same stuff on sale for each team but that’s anything but the case. In the case of three clubs - Anyang’s Red Boosters, Suwon’s SonicBoom and Daegu’s Peagasus - all you get is a message saying THERE ARE NO REGISTERED PRODUCTS.
SA: Way to market your teams.
PM: To be fair, the Red Boosters must know that no one wants to buy their crappy uniforms.
SA: But that’s not the point.
PM: True. Special shout out to Seoul’s SK Knights. They have a vast selection of jerseys, including a couple retros. They also have t-shirts and they even took the time to have some of their players model them.
SA: Wow, it’s almost as if they’re a real professional sports team or something.
PM: Well, quite! Most of the other clubs have jerseys available, though mainly your standard home and away kits.
SA: Way to do the bare minimum, guys!
PM: Oh no, if you want the bare minimum, check out KCC Egis. Their page may lack jerseys but they’re well stocked in 2025 calendars! But at least they don’t have a NO REGISTERED PRODUCTS message. Incidentally, I found some rather eccentric team souvenirs that we’ll get to later in the episode.
SA: The volleyball league has cheaper uniforms, but they are gender selective. If you’re a guy and your favourite team is a women’s team, they only got women’s shaped uniforms and clothes. It could be fine, if you can fit into them. They did a CookieRun collab last year. This week I noticed an option for custom lettered jerseys for 12k. Other than uniforms, the teams sell a collection of accessories we're going to talk about, after the break.
Accessories
SA: Besides uniforms, there is swag. All the teams have keychains, towels, scarfs, and bottles to buy. If you have kids who like cute things, I think they’ll like the Incheon United seagull plushie.
PM: So, pre-Covid, I had a special card for Gwangju FC games which entitled me to 25 games and/or seats. In theory, I could’ve gone to 25 games on my own or I could’ve brought two dozen of my closest friends to a single game.
SA: Trouble is, you don’t have anywhere near 24 friends.
PM: Maybe over the entire course of my life but not at any one time and certainly not now. So, when we ordered this card, the team also sent us thank you gifts, as is customary in Korea.
SA: Right. I remember your sweet Gwangju FC travel mug.
PM: Stainless travel mug. I got a lot of use out of it for a while there. The coating on the outside gradually began to wear off so we did eventually chuck it out though.
SA: Did you get anything else from them?
PM: Yeah, one of those stands to balance your phone. My wife used it for a while. I think we got rid of it too.
SA: And you renewed your pass the following year, right? Did you get anything that time?
PM: Yeah but they cheapened out by sending us a plastic travel mug which I didn’t use as much and I didn’t even care when I accidentally left it in a taxi one morning. And they threw in a couple postcards.
SA: Lame!
PM: I know, right? You’d think they’d send better gifts to loyal customers who came back to them. Funnily enough, they seem to have abandoned the travel mug game entirely. We were at a Gwangju FC pop up store the other day and I didn’t see any.
SA: I liked that pop up store though. The selection was decent.
PM: It’s certainly better than the set up they used to have at the old World Cup stadium.
SA: I noticed you looking long and hard at their hoodies.
PM: Yeah, and I might’ve bought one had it not been so damn expensive. I mean, 130,000 won for a hoodie? Who do they think I am, Herschel Walker’s douchebag son?
SA: My wife likes the Gwangju FC scarf I got for her as a christmas present, though she doesn’t use it much because it’s a bit too wide. I like the team mugs but I don’t have much room in my house or office for them, so if I lose one of my old ones, I’ll login to a team site and buy a nice one.
PM: You think Stanley branded team mugs will be a thing out here?
SA: I don’t like how it became such a big deal back home, what with the influencers pushing Stanley and all. But I’m not opposed to a Kia Tigers Stanley mug. (Whisper) Kia marketing office, take my hint.
PM: Before I forget, I mentioned earlier about the KBL’s online shop and some of their more unusual items. I think it’s time I listed off a few. Ready?
SA: What have you found? A Sono Skygunners paperweight? A LG Sakers quill and ink set?
PM: No but there are some good ones. Wonju’s DB Promy club has some less than predictable gift items. One of them is a folding box which is sadly sold out at the moment. They didn’t put a great deal of effort into it. You might expect it to be in their trademark fern green colors but it is mostly white. It is only when you examine it closely that you’ll see the team logo stamped on the fake wood covering.
SA: That piece of crap sold out?
PM: Apparently so. They also have what at first glance appears to be a dog food bowl but is in fact a stand for your DB Promy signed basketball. A snip at 6,000 won.
SA: I’ll think about it. Anything else?
PM: Must haves from Ulsan’s Hyundai Mobius include a magnet pen tray, stadium badge and bucket hat.
SA: Wait a sec. Stadium badge?
PM: Yup. A badge with an image of their arena.
SA: A great stocking stuffer for the architectural sports nerd in your life!
PM And finally, how about a bottle of SK Knights Scent of Knights Room Spray?
SA: Say what???
PM: That’s right! For only 21,000 won a bottle you can enjoy the aroma of citrus in a melange with mountain springs and the warmth of the Aegean.
SA: What would that even smell like?
PM: You got me but anything beats the smell of dudes in a locker room after an overtime game. I don’t think there’s much demand for that particular spray.
Where to find
PM: So where can you buy team stuff online?
SA: The Daejeon Hana team’s clothes are only available on the 1Q app so I give up with them. If they’re going to make it hard for the customer to buy the product, then they don’t need our money.
PM: But I take it other teams have stuff on their team homepages, yeah?
SA: Hahahah noo.
PM: Of course it wouldn’t be an easy process.
SA: Actually this time it is, depending on the team. You need to look for a purse or shopping bag symbol and it’ll take you to the team’s shopping site. A few of the websites like the Jeonnam Dragons have actual pictures of merch & swag on the page, but a lot of the others don’t. Which is weird because, you know, merch sales are a big driver of team funds.
PM: I think it’s potentially a problem- if fans can’t find the merch, they’re not going to buy it.
SA: They probably aren’t willing to spend 95k for a uniform either. I think that’s also hurting sales. In US terms that’s like $69. Is a struggling soccer team worth that much when you can get more bang for your buck on an NBA jersey? *joke sting* Oh come on that wasn’t what I meant!
PM: What about the big online stores like Coupang?
SA: You can find swag on those sites but it might not be quote official unquote. Especially if you’re ordering from some chinese site like Teemu.
PM: A chinese site selling inauthentic korean sports merch? Say it ain’t so!
SA: With a touch of carcinogenic compounds sprayed on them, per recent reports.
PM: So what should be the rule of thumb?
SA: If it’s under 100k for a uniform it’s probably bootleg. But you can find a lot more team merch that aren’t uniforms but also reasonably authentic like T-shirts, when they’re not sold out. Basically avoid anything coming from overseas, as it’ll say in the selling page.
PM: Baseball is really popular during the season. Perhaps during the off-season it’s not as popular.
SA: But one good thing about the online sites is that you can see the sizes much easier. They tend to come with size charts more often than the team shops. Most of the team shops do, especially the baseball league shop but some don’t. And that leads me to a big rant I’ve been dying to make.
PM: Ut oh here we go.
SA: You know that the big cities have a wider range of swag to get, right?
PM: Of course.
SA: But the semi-pro teams and the women’s football teams hardly have any swag. One thing that comes up a lot with foreigners who live in or are about to leave a small city like Jinju is that there ain’t any team swag! Or at the very least, swag that’s purchasable online. Look, FC Mokpo is a K3 team and Jinju Citizen is a K4- these are semi-pro teams and they should have a basic swag shop online. Hell, they could even have a Naver Smartstore! Imagine if Naju FC had a team shirt. You’d buy one, right?
PM: I might. I feel like there isn’t the demand, right? Aside from geeks like us.
SA: I certainly would be buying my town’s shirts and sending them out as Christmas gifts. But nooo, they got nothing! This is a slam dunk and the semi-pro teams are missing their shot!
PM: It’s easy to make and store shirts and other merch. I don’t know why they aren’t.
SA: Perhaps we just need to go to a game? Usually there are merch sellers there.
PM: So is that your final recommendation? Just buy stuff when you go to a game?
SA: Sometimes it’s the easiest way because you can check the sizes, material, and if there are any sales. Yeah it’s a pain to send stuff overseas but at the very least you’ll get to make sure it’s the right gift.
PM: I guess if you’re the one buying for a friend or spouse, you can take them to the game and get the present right then.
GAME OF THE WEEK!
SA: We’ve got important games this weekend!
PA: What’s worth watching this weekend?
SA: First, I’ll start with women’s volleyball. The Pink Spiders face a tough challenge this Friday night against Hyundai Hillside. They’re the team with the most boring swag. Can the Pink Spiders make it 15 straight wins? At the time of this recording, they already won 11 straight. If that doesn’t tickle your throat, there’s Anyang vs Nikko, the top 2 ice hockey teams in Anyang Saturday at 4PM.
PM: You can take the boy from Bucheon but you can’t take Bucheon from the boy.
SA: With all due respect, the word ‘Boy’ is doing some heavy lifting there.
PM: You’re not wrong. It feels like I’m always bringing up my old adopted Korean hometown in these segments and this time it’s no different. We’ve got an All-Star Game! Whatsmore, it might even be competitive for once. The Women’s KBL All-Stars are facing off against their rivals from the Japanese league. I have no idea if this is something that’s been done before but it’s a great idea and I anticipate a good crowd up in the Peach City. Nothing brings Korean people together than the chance to take a giant dump on their neighbours to the east.
SA: (react to his choice). And we have an update!
PM: Updates again?
SA: Yes! The K-League announced last week that Hwaeseong FC will join K League 2! And K2 is also dropping the Asian player quota! And they’re going to monitor pitch conditions and make teams change fields if they’re not good enough. Again, we’ll talk about those changes and more on the season preview show in a few months.
PM: At this rate, I think the preview is gonna be us covering all the changes!
Ending
SA: Thanks for tuning in today! We hoped you learned something new about Korean sports!
PM: I certainly did! Please share this podcast with your friends & family, anyone you think would be interested in irreverent takes on Korean Sports.
SA: Especially give this to rookies. They need alllll the help they can get.
PM: Don’t forget to rate our podcast 5 stars of course. But don’t do it if you don’t like us.
SA: You can email the show at hwatingsportspodcast at gmail.com or leave a comment on our various podcast sites. Hate mail will be read aloud on special episodes and ruthlessly mocked.
PM: Fan mail will be mocked but in a more wholesome way.
SA: Our next episode will be after New years and we’re talking about following your favorite teams from back home.
PM: The ones you care to follow anyhow.
SA: Music notes like the opening song thanks to DumiAFava. Cover art thanks to our live-in cycling expert James! Until next time, Korean sports fans!
PM: Guests of the Hwa-ting sports podcast dine this holiday season at Barry’s Pub in the heart of Seongnam City’s Lithuanian district. Come for the turkey dinner with all the fixings and stay for those little touches from home. Missing that creepy uncle of yours who wears tinted glasses and belches at random? Barry’s buddy Rick from Tulsa will be happy to join you to creep you and your party out. Wishing you could be with your racist grandma at this time of the year? Bring along your Korean loved ones and Barry’s cousin Patty from Moose Jaw will make all of you feel very uncomfortable. Longing to see your aunt with a not-so-secret drinking problem? Longtime Barry’s barfly Lana from Parts Unknown will come join you whether you ask her to or not and she’ll get awfully touchy-feely with that Christian friend of yours. For that genuine old fashioned family Christmas, come to Barry’s.
Notes:
Steve’s favorites: 1Ulsan, 2FC Seoul, 3Gwangju, 4Jeju, 5Anyang, 6Jeonnam, 7Chungnam, 8Busan I-Park, 9SuwonBluewings, 10Bucheon, 11Cheonan City, 12Gyeongnam, 13Seongnam, 14Jeonbuk, 15Incheon